which one do you think is harder? ask for forgiveness or forgive someone? 'sorry' has always been a hard word for me to say. especially to my mom and pop and ones i feel closer. and surely harder to be said when the matter is for real serious. i have to swallow my pride and ask for forgiveness. maybe you and some people can speak it out easily. well, teach me then.
forgiving is another not-so-easy thing to do. what's the meaning of the word itself? sometimes we forgive but the pain remain. can that still be called 'forgiven'? it is not grudge we keep in heart but it's just difficult to get rid of the previous feeling: being hurt.
i've just read that 'forgiveness is not something we do for other people. we do it for ourselves-to get well and move on'. so forgiving is just another selfish thing. so human. even if we do it, it's not for the sake to calm others heart, it is for ourselves to feel better. so why is it still a hard thing to do, when we are actually doing it for our own good? oh how selfish we are, as human. sometime forgiving is just a hard thing to do because we don't want the other person feel relieve.
i keep repeating india arie's song 'heart of the matter'. i usually prefer the original singer -don henley for this song, but i get the feel more with india's tune.
'I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore'
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